Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
40s are totally the cure
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
