so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize