I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
