Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
