its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
