what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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