Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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