Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
