When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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