Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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