I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
