You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
