Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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