I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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