I think i sorta joined a cult last night
now i know why i became what i already was.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
