If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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