I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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