So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
