Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize