dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
