census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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