I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
