Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
