my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
How's work?
Spinning.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
