mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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