you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
