Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
