thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize