so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
