I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My penis needs a shock collar
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
