If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
