I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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