I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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