Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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