More tranny stories later!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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