I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
