I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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