You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
