I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
