I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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