Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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