Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
