I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
