You can't motorboat a personality
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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