Ambien. No doubt about it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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