he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
