i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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