Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
