That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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