Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
there is glitter all over my balls
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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