just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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