none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
