Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
