He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
